Atrersdarkness

Matt Hartman once said, "Suicide is the remedy of pain," and for me, this couldn't be more accurate. I was sixteen, and in more 'pain' than I thought anyone could understand. I simply couldn't continue feeling so miserable, so I took the coward's way out. On the night of February 24, 2009, I attempted to commit suicide. I gave up on my future and everything I had ever known. I stopped caring. I had never wanted anything more than in that moment; I wanted to die.         The week prior to my self-destruction was hell. I had lost my best friend, my boyfriend, and I had been told that there was no chance that I could pass biology. I felt like

When death becomes all that's left Even the inner demons become afraid. But the delicious fragility of this travesty has been too long in the making. I tie the ribbon in a foolish way because I mustn't forget. How it feels. To live To breath To bleed To desire the darkness that will take me back to a place where we still laugh and wish.

Everything you've given me, everything I know. A cradle of beliefs, unraveling. The light of distrust crosses my mind, the one thing I trusted, now turned grim. No words are left to explain my discust, my hatred for your entire existance. I'm lost in a sea of dispair, because you've lost your grip on my life. You allowed me to drift away because of that tiny surge; an inch of scorn allowed a mile of sorrow. All is said and done. There is no turning back. Forever more, you have killed me.

Unclean. Filthy. Dirty. Defiled. An immoral act against god and nature. A sickening bargain for insanity. Must get clean. But it won't come off. This feeling Of you inside of me. Taking something I'll never get back. But of course it's my fault. I could have stopped you I should have tried I just lay Crying Screaming Dying No soul But you're only human So then, how could you do this? How could you take me And live with yourself? Is this my punishment For behaving like a child? To teach me a lesson that I'll never forget? Don't think I don't try Try to forget Drown my pain in tears In blood But it won't stop This

     How long had I been waiting for him? Seconds, minutes, hours? How long would I sit there in the dark waiting on his sorry ass to walk through the front door? What was I waiting for anyway? Waiting to scream and cry? No, not now. All of that has ended. Right now I just wanted revenge. I wasn't sure about how I would do it at first, but then it hit me harder than he ever had! I had figured out the perfect murder. No one would notice he was gone. No one cared about the son of a bitch. Well… almost no one. There was one problem standing in my way. Julie. The "other" woman, and my best friend for as long as I cou

Maybe we're all a little bit crazy. Perhaps it lies dormant under our skin, waiting for an opportunity to burst out of its shell, and waiting to come alive. But what if it's already out, then what? Build a new wall and hide it, or let it scream out to the world? Allow it to take over, or die trying to fight it? Sometimes we need the craziness, but other times, it's deemed wrong, weird, and immature. I'm not talking the craziness where you drink too much caffeine and stay up all night with your buddies laughing, I'm talking the true crazy. The kind where you're impulsive, where you can't make it stop. Where it's screaming in your head until...